how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
