Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
