Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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