SEEEEXXX PLEASE
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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