Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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