I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
