She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
