There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
