Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
