Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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