not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize