I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize