I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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