Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
