Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize