idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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