so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
