Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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