did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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