yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
