I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
