You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
