Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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