The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
