OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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