how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
