Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
