we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
