please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
