you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
