You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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