Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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