He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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