That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
