I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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