how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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