That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
