i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
