I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Randomize
