Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
