It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
no you cant smoke seaweed
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
