Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
