i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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