ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
