I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
