I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
