Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
