this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize