im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
