I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize