i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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