i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
