He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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