She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
