A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
