All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I think we might need a safe word for this...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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