Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
