So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
