I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
