i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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