Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
