You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
