i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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