How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
