I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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