I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I have feelings that need drinking.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
