I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize