I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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