Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
