He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize