Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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