the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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