Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Your penis caused this!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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